2002-04-28 - 1:35 a.m.
The sound of her name echoed in my ears,
and I froze.
I couldn't move or even think.
I felt tears gathering behind my eyes,
waiting to pour down my cheeks.
I hadn't expected to hear her name today,
and yet it was something I needed to hear.
It has been a year since her death.
I had gone to see her once in the hospital.
she looked so small in the sterile hospital bed.
Her beautiful hair was gone from her scalp,
and her body was frail and tired.
The eyes that stared at me were dull and lifeless, their sparkle whithered to dispair.
With great effort she lifted her hand and tried to push me from the room.
Her once-magical-voice, now rhaspy and thin, shouted "Go!! Leave me alone,
and let me be!!!
I remember thinking that that couldn't really be her.
She had told me to leave,
and I couldn't bear to see that person who was but was not my grandmother,
so I left and never went back.
Now, I miss her.
I miss her her gentle manner,
her serene face, and her sharp wit.
I miss her heart-felt laugh,
and her loving smile.
Kneeling there,
the memories poured over me
as the tears streamed down my face.
Silently I closed my eyes.
That last day in the hospital I hadn't said I loved her.
Now I looked to the heavens,
and told her with all of my heart.
