2002-11-24 - 12:19 a.m.
The Endless Marathon
keep going.
have to keep going.
run.
run the endless circles.
just run.
mindless.
we act out the motions.
follow the path.
follow the leader.
no time to stop for directions.
no time to think,
to love,
to live.
have to keep going.
run.
just run.
run untill my legs are like bricks.
untill a stitch tears through my side, and I collapse
each breath a jagged knife through my chest.
the rapid beating of my heart drowns out the echoes of madness, of pain.
And I am at peace.
But,
NO.
No, can't stop.
have to keep going.
have to keep playing the game.
no time.
no rest.
not one short pause.
just run.
What am I doing?
I'm tired.
helpless.
lost.
i can't stop.
can't think.
Can’t live.
I’m tired.
No.
No, Just run.
Run.
always running
Running
Running
Don’t stop.
Never stop.
keep running
Smile your phony plastic smile and run
Just run.
God, what am I doing?
i want to stop
to scream
to sob
to stand in the middle of the track and watch it all go by.
To stop and shout:
“no.
No.
NO!!
I don’t want to play anymore!”
I’m done!
Do you hear me?
No more.
No more!”
Who am I kidding?
No one stops.
No one looks.
No one cares.
I can see them, hear them, feel them running by,
A constant stream of phony plastic smiles and false greetings
False lives
But there are daggers behind those empty eyes
Filled with Hatred
Anger
No, you can’t just run the race
Have to be the best
Strongest
Fastest
Have to win.
You see someone fall
It doesn’t matter
Just keep running
Running
running
Run them right over.
Don’t listen to their screaming as you tread upon their hopes
Ignore their lost and lonely tears
Who cares who you step on as long as you win?
Who cares?
Who cares?
Who really cares?
I do.
I’m not going to play the game anymore
This is almost a new poem, but not quite. Basically, we were told to write a "beat" style poem for my Western Civ class. I was going to start fresh, but I just thought that "the endless marathon" was the perfect style for what we were asked to do. So, I took that poem I had written and added to it, and changed it. I consider it a new poem, it's just based on the other one. Maybe I should call it a second draft. Yes, this is my second draft of the endless marathon. I wish you could hear me read it. There's improv singing in the middle. Sadly, I do not have the equipment to record it. Wait!!! When you read this, read it out loud to yourself. Try not to let it drag. Keep it fast as if you're running a race. When you get to the "no. no no. I don't want to play the game anymore..." start singing whatever notes come to you, but go back to speaking with "who am I kidding?". There! Now, you can hear the poem as I meant it to be read!
