2007-01-04 - 9:29 p.m.
i stared into the fire and slowly saw the truth-
the inescapeable reality of who i am.
The heat grew more intense
as each new log burst into flame.
How about another pallet?
You're hands are freezing.-
Man, feel that heat.
i did not back away.
i watched in fascination
as the night grew ever darker,
ever closer.
And as the night wore on.
so grew the red hot burning of my shame.
(the smoke was in my eyes)
Who am i fooling?
Tears gathered behind my eyes at the thought of my ineptitude,
as i watched with open eyes,
and saw, again, the inescapable reality of who i am-
of who i was.
What will never be.
A tear worked its way down my burning cheek-
i let it wander down its lonely path,
hoping that the shadows would hide its accusing presense or
(deep down)
hoping it would catch the firelight, a beacon shining toward the truth.
It was unheeded, either way.
i sat in silence, surrounded by their mirth,
watching the ever-dancing flames
Slowly, i brushed it away-
unheard, unseen.
Tears as carefully hidden as all my foolish dreams.
