2007-02-25 - 10:15 a.m.
Walking in, i almost fainted.
i think my head exploded,
but not to worry-
who could find the pieces in this crepe-papered cave with all of its crayola congratulations-
this wonderland of almost-married bliss?
My worst nightmare imagined;
i'm pathetic and alone,
living with a Couple that have won the Single race,
with friends who are in a place i can't even imagine.
Why can't i just be happy for them?
i want to be.
i am-
mostly.
It hurts.
it actually hurts, that i can't find joy in their happiness.
What happened to me?
When did i become a selfish, self-absorbed bitch-
a compassionless, 2-dimensional parody of myself-
a jealous, jaded cynic?
When did i remove my shades,
my pepto-bismal tinted shades?
How do i bring back the laughing little girl i used to be?
What do i say?
"Congratulations- i'm moving out."
